scaramouch will you do the fandango

okay. so i'm about to leave for new york. and i'm feeling a tad bit excited, but mostly nervous, jittery and homesick. im fucking homesick even though i haven't been out of the house the whole of today, except when i went out to throw out the rubbish. im fucking missing my home when dad's nagging like a old woman and scolding me for things i have not done.

for example, "you better not lose the memory stick i gave you. where is it? it's in the pouch? good. knowing you, you'll just lose it. you better not lose it. it cost me 100dollars. and if you lose it, you'll have to pay me 200 dollars for it. 100 for the one that you lost and another 100 for the one i have to buy. so if you lose it, never mind, just fork out your own money and give it to me."

it's so fucking annoying. i just want to shove everything back at him and scream "take your stuff back, i dont fucking need them." and then i realise, i do. as much as i wish i didn't have to depend on him or anyone else, i can't survive and pay for my schooling whilst working on the side on my own.

grrrrrrrrrrrrargh. i had to let that out.

okayokay. i love you all! please miss me very much while i'm gone [all the joy, laughter, peace and pleasure you've had will be missing for about 12 days] and if i think you have missed darling me enough, i'll bring you something nice back. sean, you still have to miss me even though you've paid in advance. and no, i will not cheat you of your money, kiamsiap.

and if i die, my savings goes straight to the old blind man at yiochukang station who sells tissues at night.

but i wont of course. :)

here's to a very long 12 days of slogging and running around doing work.

missue!