hullo, you've been dreamed of.

i have quite come to terms with my shortcoming. some may call it a strength, but if you lose something in the process, it's a definite fall. i was watching The L Word, and i realise i was in the same position Jenny was, when she dumped Robin.

it's kinda like, you get fucked up. and for a period of time, may be years even, you're still fucked up and you use that as a shield against getting screwed in the head again. what you do, is that you fuck with other people's minds. not because you hate them. you dont really mean it, you just cant help yourself from doing so, because you're such an unbalanced confused maniac. somehow, twisting other people's minds around your little finger makes you feel so in control. and at one point of twirling them through another of your warped hurricane of a game, you suddenly feel awfully . bad. and guilty. and mean. and that of course is when the loss factor comes in.

hurrah for me.

blahdy blahdy blah.

the more i exercise at kickboxing training, the more often i get hungry, the more i eat, the more i spend on food, the more weight i put on. i havent been losing weight, quite the opposite really. am sad, my tummy knows where's all the fat's going. i should be reducing my carbo intake, but im not. sometimes i get so hungry, that when i see people, i feel like sinking my teeth into their bouncy jiggly thighs.

ooh. last week, janice, huiting and i went for a luncheon at crystal jade la mein xiao long bao. janice was on a diet, so she hardly ate. but huiting and i nearly exploded from eating so much. one bowl of la mein, one long of xiao long bao and a place of banana red bean egg souffle, each. YUMM.

on my way to school today to hand in my 3000 word ad analysis (i laugh to myself everytime i type a..n..a..l..) and newswriting assignment, i passed by the chinese high. no big deal. okay, then you notice on each of the street lights is a banner proclaiming the glorious chinese high open house. okay, still no biggie. then you realise that the two boys in focus on the banner have shaven hair, wear geeky specs, with contorted smiles. ah, the typical chinese high boy we always imagine forming the majority of the school. why cant they put up DECENT pictures of their students! and they wonder why we have laughing fits, spasming on the floor when we're told so and so's from the chinese high.

he who does not read my blog, hullo, you've been dreamed of. again.