paint thinner

i had a funny dream on saturday night! i was at school, ngeeann. and sean, was really nice, wanted to fetch me from school. he arrived in rollerblades, and somehow, i was in wobbly, slow, rollerskates. thing is, i can do both, and sean, umm, cant. so it began to rain, heavily. and there sean was blading real fast, with me trying to go as fast as i could on the four wheelers, and still not catching up. we went past co-op, the library. and those stairs leading to the atrium. sean did some sliding stunt down them. i SLIPPED, while doing a crab walk down them. so unfair! so, i got to the atrium, and saw all the girls, staring at him, like he's some hunk. okay, he is a hunk. but not a rollerblading-real-cool-on-slippery-floors-hunk..

church on sunday was great! havent been to church for quite some time. like, 3 weeks i think? i know. bad steph, bad bad steph. so, once i was too shagged, the adventure seekers camp thing, the next i had to stay home with mom and help clean the house, the other, cuz sean wasnt in singapore. well, anyway, this sunday, i went with sean, and his friend who sorta became my friend, gilbert. met him twice before actually. once at the hillsongs concert, and the other, in queue, i think. it was fun, cuz, they are so funny. it WAS kinda awkward at first. but after a few jokes and all, it was cool. oh, i forgot to mention gilbert flies planes! youth flying club, how.... nice! with the dratted bad eyesight, almost everyone in singapore has, i dont get the chance to! pouts. service was cool. pastor prince! must drag my parents to him one day, soon. i.. was.. pretty.. tired... during service. enough said.. gilbert told us some weird fact, about this guy electrocuting his prick while pissing on an electric fence, so the doctors grafted it on his shoulder! can JUST imagine that! urgh..

i was siickkkk yesterday (monday).. felt awful. had three bouts of 'mud'.. which was gross.. feverish, aching bones, painful joints and all. feel like some ole ole woman, describing myself like that. went out last minutely, which is something i never do, and my parents hate. gotta like, tell them at least, 2 days in advance for them to be, satisfied. not happy though. cuz, they're never happy about me going out. there's nothing to do at home! besides going online, reading and watching tv. and im usually alone anyway. mom's gone. dad's at work. everyones at school. so whats wrong with spending my time outside. no ones gonna miss me or anything. but anyway, met up with sean and melissa as well as yuankun. sean was late.. hmphf.. we found out elijah was coming along too. he's DARN whatsitcalled. i had to instruct him how to get into the entrance of plaza singapura, when he'd already landed eyes upon cafe cartel. and i wasnt some, 'the entrance is right next to cafe cartel elijah' it took a lot of telling, and explaning.. how, -throws hands up in the air, frustrating. GUYS, are hopeless at directions females give, although they may be the most detailed CLEAR instructions. caught Cellular, which was FAR better than sharks tail. yuckety yuck. by then, joey and his two church friends had joined us. i found out later, that the chick was actually, our senior in presbyterian high, and the guy, worked in the same restaurant as me, two managers before mine though. which was cooooooool, cuz we talked and shared a little. small world.. oh yeah, joey lam's got a thing for nipples, eating nipples, pigs nipples to be precise actually. poor melissa's salty ice mocha.. haha.. after coffee, got kinda lost in ngeeanncity cuz they had already closed most of the exits.

by the time we got into the train, i was feeling terrible. my head was pounding, i was hot, i was shivering. awful awful awful. was really sedated during my time out. quieter than usual, didnt make much jokes, and if i did, they were terribly lame, and all humour was lost. i got off the train, really woozy. was walking down the steps to the bus interchange, when everything turned black. couldnt see, head was throbbing still, but i walked it off. when i boarded the bus, some middle age guy plomped himself next to me although there were other vacant seats around. i counted 3. okay, maybe he wants to chat up some conversation, fine. but he didnt. i zonked off to the blurred dark world beyond the glass window, that was whizzing past me. noticed that guy looking at me like, many times throughout my 15min bus ride. got pissed, got scared. so i messaged sean. i mean, that man was trying to make it subtle, but he tried too hard, so not only was it darn obvious, but also, seriously suspicious. see, he turned his head really slowly towards MY direction, making it, a cool, natural act. but he pulled, or rather jerked his head so dramatically back to the front, that that action itself caught my attention. heh. maybe my beauty is truly stunning. buahahha. i can laugh about it now, cuz i got home safe and sound. but last night? i was freaked walking back home. whoever's been to my place, knows how long the walk in is. and at night, hardly any cars, a huge ulu park. dim lighting. and throughout the whole day, i hated my handphone. hated. loathed. despised. i wanted to turn it off, but afraid that my dad will try contact me. so didnt. messages came in, made me pathetically happy, in case they might be from him, but when i found out they weren't... pout and bite lip. struggled and fought desperately with the urge not to give in, and call him or something. and, i won that inner battle. yay. ugh. sure sean, it wasnt my fault, but, i was the one at the losing end, wasnt i.

got home safely, bathed, and went online to tell sean ass seow that i had gotten home in one piece, not raped by any bangla. and all he said was, 'im glad'. i thought he was being sarcastic. cuz, if it mattered to him, he would have taken the initiative, to maybe call? to find out how i was doing, that i was one one piece, and not stuffed in a box half my size, naked and dead. just like, my boyf, qkz. i complained and ranted to sean, about how him and kz dont show any concern for my safety. i could get attacked going home and maybe even kidnapped. and they wouldnt find out about it, till, maybe four days later, when they suddenly, see my lips dripping with sarcasm there, suddenly, notice that 'oh dear.i havent seen whatsthatgirlsname online for 2 days, or was it 3.. and, checking my mobile phone inbox... surpringly, she hasnt messaged and bugged me about anything. maybe i'll just drop a call to see if she's pissed with me or not.' so they call, and my kidnappers pick up demanding a 10 million dollar ransom. so, what they'll think is that its me fucking around with them, and they'll just hang up, laughing it off, playing it tough and un-concerned. HUR. so sean laughs at that, thinking it the funniest thing i've ever said, thing is, i was being serious about all that. and tells me that they, he and kz, have the heart to care for me, but dont do anything. and why? oh, because they're too lazy to. honestly, i hope i get kidnapped by a serious weirdo one day, who does nothing harmful towards me, but abducts me, cuza he wants someone to talk to. and he keeps me for 30 days, and see how sorry those blokes asses will be. and, sean didnt reply my 2 message long message last night, you pig. spent ten cents on you and you did nothing! esp, when i needed you..

today, feeling much better. woke up 8.22am. early early early. i was recuperating, so who could be that insenstive sonofagun to call me at such an unearthly... oh, wow. his name flashed on my screen. like, finally.. sort of didnt want to pick up, and then turning my phone off, for the sake of revenge, see how he feels, see whether he gets bothered by it or not. hmph.. but, i am a girl. and girls are nice and forgiving. first few lines were like, me: hi. him:hello me:yeah? him:i love you. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. but anyway, wanted to tell him about a ngihtmare i had.. but he had school to attend. i've forgotten most of it by now. but, it wasnt about zombies! i was with a guy, cant remember who. and linglee was with us. the three of us were running away from zombies. and suddenly she turned into one and tried to attack us. i can still see her artery hanging loosely out of her neck. i was so scared. i thought it was real. got out of bed, to pee, went back, and read my book. till 12 something, when he called again. TGIF! hung the clothes out to dry. didnt eat cuz i wasnt hungry. plus, too lazy to prepare something. watched the telly. read interesting articles online. how very dreary. oh, yeah. my heads, STILL pounding. even the light radiating off my computer screen is enough to make me cringe and squint my eyes. oww. i wanna drill a hole in my head. thats the end of my really interesting day. oh yeah, i have no panadol at home. NONE. ransacked my medicine cupboard. i really need it now. or i'm gonna gulp down some paint thinner, hoping it'll thin my blood and lessen the pain of the hammers in my head.