say your prayers little one
don't forget, my son
to include everyone

tuck you in, warm within
keep you free from sin
till the sandman he comes

sleep with one eye open
gripping your pillow tight

exit light
enter night
take my hand
off to never never land

something's wrong, shut the light
heavy thoughts tonight
and they aren't of snow white

dreams of war, dreams of liars
dreams of dragon's fire
and of things that will bite

sleep with one eye open
gripping your pillow tight

exit light
enter night
take my hand
off to never never land

now I lay me down to sleep
pray the lord my soul to keep
if I die before I wake
pray the lord my soul to take

hush little baby, don't say a word
and never mind that noise you heard
it's just the beast under your bed,
in your closet, in your head

exit light
enter night
grain of sand

exit light
enter night
take my hand
we're off to never never land

great song. love dark songs. very dark. very beautiful. huh. k. by metallica. enter snadman. laughs..

computer is working. again. hurh. stupid com. the more my uncle touches it, the more screwed it gets! grr. not gonna let my mom get him touch it anymore. need the wireless internet up soon. my laptop needs to be wired up to the wonderful world of the internet. i have like SO much journal entries in my sleek, eautiful, heavy notebook, which keeps crying out to be posted up here! i mean, my parents keep threatening to change the internet password, so i dont dare use it too much. one week since i blogged. much has happened. much thinking has been going on.

day before i left for bali
-made a vow not to use so much vulgarities on my blog anymore. must cut down.
-fought/had another huge argument with jon. he started it this time. not me.
-found my black journal in my room. updated it. 5 pages long about one thing. i cant stand myself. im so irritating! hur. thanks tif, thanks sf for being there.
-cried

in bali
-bunjee-ed (waited like 5 freaking long years to do it!)
-bunjee-ed 4 times. forwards, backwards, acrobat. body harness
-swore terribly as i was going down. never been so freaked in my whole entire life.
-swore the f-wrod over and over again. oh my f*cking God. parents heard.
-swore in front of my parents. first time, didnt get scolded.
did girly girl stuff too! i.e. braided my hair. shopped a little. note : a little. hahaha sf! fake stussy shirt. real ripcurl and mambo shirts. the end of my bali shopping spree. ha
very nice place. i love bali. honestly, beautiful. wow. slow pace of life. people are happy. not too modern. not too backward. a little too much vehicles on the street. but, nice. i kept thinking. it would be nice to be here with kz. hmm. k. fine. but yeah. i would love to go there with my friends. it would be totally diff. the last night was my favourite. went to this sunset beach. wow. never watched the sunset at the horizon before. really beautiful. ate dinner on the beach. nice restaurants. the ambience was like, perfect. lotsa stars in the sky, at least, more than here. the waves. great food. great service. candle light. cool breeze. band playing from table to table with an out of tune violin. but their singing made up for it anyway. smiled to myself a lot during the dinner. even thinking about that night now makes me smile. in a down in the dumps state right now, so that place, yes, it was that awesome.
cried in the plane. was so touched over the movie i watched. the ending. watched it many times. but.. well.. heh tif.. you know which movie it is.. i feel like some slobbering cry baby. hur.

back in sgp
yesterday - got locked out of the house. went for a walk with soong. without my keys. parents went out. claypot. tanjong katong. got home. nagged off the phone with sf by my dad. hur.
today. gathering with the girls of 4 humility! love em all.. took neos.. with the 4 of us. lings, linda tif and meeeee! love them.. as soon as i saw lings, i ran and gave her a huge hug. heh.. yvonne, natt, gale, peijun, tif, lings, linda, grace lim, nurul. yay.. bought earrings, yes THANK YOU TIF. lings, tif and i tried on bikini's.. ripcurl.. very nice.. very ex.. this nice one i tried on was like 115?!?!? gotta be kidding me man.. im not gonna pay such money just for some very nice swim suit. they wanted to see me in it.. linda owes me 10 bucks for a peep. grace a ten too! lings!! hhaha.. you peeped twice! buahahha.. stupid tif, didnt let us see!! eh, sean's looking pretty horny. yup.thats right. tanned. braces.. cuter than i remember him actually.. heh.. gave him a flying kiss. haha. took taxi home. was late enough as it was. no idea why. but the taxi driver was like saying how eurasian malay indian guys as my boyfriend was bad. like. huh? i was really.. hurh.

talked about it sf and tif! talking. hmm. calls.. msging. im not oversensitiveeeeeee.....

i dont like blowing people off. its like letting you down. yes i do feel irresponisble though its not my fault. but i shant use that as an excuse. i feel terrible you felt that way. im really sorry. you're like, one of the people i love most in the world. and you know im not just saying that. i nearly cried when i read about it mate. yes, i know its not jealousy. fact, i reckon im more jealous than you. im jealous about the fact that i havent gone out or spent time with you. im jealous of the people you have. yes, every single one of them. but, i probably brought it upon myself i guess. being unreliable me. i told mom just now i want to go out with you. you know what she said? he can come over. like. HUH. yes, that would be fun. all my little friends can come over and play monopoly or smthn. EVEN better! scrabble! charades? hurh. im pissed. tmr, doubt can go out. sun church. monday school, and they organized me to go to my aunts place for lunch! YOU SO DO NOT ORGANIZE STUFF FOR ME WITHOUT MY PRIOR KNOWLEDGE MAN. OR IM GONNA DISAPPOINT ALL MY CUTE CANDY-PARK-BOARD-GAME LOVING FRIENDS. tues, (another god forsaken thing lined up for me, again without me knowing about it) m'sia, must go pray with joss sticks at my grandfathers grave. weds, she wants me to go spotlight with her to chose the fabric of the bag i want?! she said she can sew the bags found at ripcurl. I WANT TIME TO SPEND WITH MY FRIENDS GODDAMIT. not you you you and the FFFFFFFFF family all the FFFFFFFFF time. thurs, school, orientation, and im bloody freaked... OH, i dont FFFFFFFFFF care. she better nt take away my fri.. the 25th. one month already. i plan to spend fri sat and sun with him. so dont bloody touch that. back to you anyway. you know its hard for me to go out like that. sigh. you know i would if i could. you know i miss the hell out of you. i really do. its driving me nuts. let's see when the last time i went out with you. hmm.. cant remember, that long huh. another thing, im jealous of your other friends, cuz we dont spend time anymore, afraid that we'll drift, which i certainly dont want to ever happen. know what i would do if that ever happens? you know.