why did you have to jump?

you had all your life to live!

people dont have a choice to go sometimes, those with terminal illnesses or those who meet in accidents, yet, you.. you could have chosen to live, but didnt..

i remember all the times, though few, i had with him.. wrestling with him one day before my math o level paper at soongfee's house.. playing mahjong.. him being the first guy to manage to carry me, down soongfee's stairs! seeing that china stalker guy, and he comforted me.. his strong arms lending me his strength.. was so freaked, shivering when i saw that ass, but he put his arms around me, and that chingchongchinamanm saw a chunky, rugger captain and got frightened off.. going out for coffee and a movie at suntec with him.. the nice long heart to hear talk that we had.. sigh.. i miss him.. his poems.. will put them up in memory of him..

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into a fly i changed
i am shy but deranged
without wings i live
but my heart sings
still more to give
this adaptation
of life's imitation
disgusting admiration
i have more than intimate contention
convention is mankind's fatal coup de grace

rose petals rot
sombody kill the dove
kiss me sweet love
on my hairy ass
and requite my love with you
dead from leaked gas

in a cage, not fed
even at this age
you tell me to go to bed
im in a corner
you just dont bother
my existance
i am here dear mother
independence i learned myself
transcendence
i have no need for wealth
this black sheep throne
i start to relish
i am alone with my soul i embellish

sometimes i forget
that this face is mine
at times i regret
once again i whine
holy blasphemy i recite
the heretic in me starts to ignite
preposterous regards i list
i am a conscious subnambulist
sleep sober i will now
goodbye my lover
goodbye for now

fadly
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goodbye fadly.