chopsticks are not lots of fun
why do good things always come in pairs?
today was fun.. took neo prints with janice, jaime, jacky and lawrence!! haha.. all the j's!! very nice.. lunch was really empty, so all of us rushed during our working hours to finish the work we usually get done during our three hour break.. i swear arh, i folding napkins at record pace.. changed with janice, who kept laughing and making me laugh.. changed again with her for the next 2 times later on, couldnt stop laughing about something i cant really remember.. gee, i sure go bonkers when im with her.. silly little mother hen. just realized, i STILL have that step mother eyes look.. grr.. what is it with my eyes!! sometimes i honestly hate them, sometimes i just love them, they're like my only pride and joy.. yes, and jacky says that they give out a lot of electricity.. hmm, i shant look guys in the eye anymore.. haha.. had LONG JOHN SILVER.. COMBO ONE ADD FRIED ADD CHICKEN UPSIZE.. yummy!! i havent had it in like how long.. two three weeks? mmm.. burped a lot.. yay.. poor janice.. burped at her.. haha.. she is SO adorable..
today was terrible.. i nearly had a nervous breakdown.. shit, im super stressed.. imagine when you dont know who to turn to, who to place in your hands, the left or right hand.. not making any sense.. i know.. this is just for me to know.. not knowing what is right, not knowing what to do, for the fear of hurt, both parties.. oh man.. Daddy in heaven, why, oh why, for 17 long years, a nun, taken a vow of celibacy, and now.. yes.. chopsticks.. which one shall go above the other? not making any sense am i.. yes, i know.. this is for me to know.. i know what i say.. sigh.. i dont want to hurt you..
today was fun.. i deleted all his messages from my phone.. goodbye! adios! ciao! au revoir! dont let me see you again.. ever..
today was fun.. took train home with jaime and jack, janice ah.. took her darling lawrence's motorcycle home.. haha.. AGAIN!! yes, still remember that darn look on her face when she recieved his messages.. cutie.. as i waited at the busstop for 86, (70 had left already), this guy waiting for a bus talks to me.. asks if i would like a ride home in his dad's car.. apparently, he missed his last bus too.. his names keith.. i declined it of course.. two reasons, felt bad cuz i dont know him, and secondly, stranger danger.. although im certain nothing bad would have happened, yeah.. be safe.. anyway, he helped flag a cab for me. sweet.. oh yeah, he knows a whole lot of phs people.. phyllicia.. umm yeah..
today was terrible.. fainted in the bathroom after i woke up.. broke out in cold sweat, everything started spinning, and turning black.. shouted for my mom who practically saved my life.. i tried opening my eyes, which i did, but all i could see was this darkness.. horrible feeling.. her arms around me trying to hold my head up from hitting the toilet.. i couldnt control my head from jerking back or move anything else.. her voice from afar, yet so near and unreachable, 'hold our head up'.. felt like dying.. i seriously did.. that thought crossed my mind throughout the whole ordeal.. felt like shitting, vommiting, pissing, digging my brains out my nose, all at the same time.. felt better after her raising my legs above my head.. and loads of axe oil on my cheeks, lips, head, chest, duno where else she flooded it on my body.. she kept going on how white my lips were.. cool.. wanted to take a photo of having white lips.. but yeah.. heh.. she didnt want me to go to work, but hell, i did anyway..
if you are reading this, i dont know what to do, how to feel, and what you want.. i dont know..