Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation no breathing
Dont give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding
This is my last resort
Cut my life into pieces
I've reached my last resort
Suffocation no breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding
Do you even care if I die pleading
Would it be wrong, would it be right
If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might
Mutilation out of sight
And I'm contemplating suicide
Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish some body would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
I never realized I was spread to thin
Till it was to late and I was empty within
Hungry, feeding on chaos and living in sin
Downward spiral, where do I begin
It all started when I lost my mother
No love for myself and no love from another
Searching to find a love up on a higher level
Finding nothing but questions and devils
Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish some body would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Nothing's alright, nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying
I'm crying
I cant go on living this way
Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation no breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding
Would it be wrong would it be right
If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might
Mutilation out of sight
And I'm contemplating suicide
Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Nothing's alright, nothing is fine
I'm running and I'm crying
I CAN'T GO ON LIVING THIS LIFE
Can't go on
Living this way
Nothing's alright
-----------------------------------------
i cant stand it.. everything's so fucked up and for no fucking reason.. im feeling so god damn down.. like.. nobody fucking cares what happens to me.. like i know thats not exactly true.. but hell, im just feeling that way.. like im so small and inferior.. everyone has their other friends to care about.. so they dont need me.. right? everyone has someone else.. so that now? im left alone.. in my little world.. unwanted.. disregarded.. forgotten.. shit.. and the worst thing of all is that i've been contemplating it again.. been thinking about it a lot these days.. i dont know why.. its just so tempting.. to feel the skin spilt open.. shit.. no.. i dont want to go back to those days.. go away.. then again. it feels so much better after doing it.. to feel the pain.. the hurt replaced by pain. and soon i'll just get numb again.. fuck.. dont.. i dont want to get back to go back to that dark and fucked up period..
fucked up list
1. he's pissed with me! all i was doing was trying to tell him that his appeals might not be successful.. and he thinks im not suppoing him.. i do.. i so do support him.. why cant he see that i am.. i dont deal well with people being pissed at me.. thanks man.. why cant you see what im trying to tell you?!?
2. i did something so very wrong.. against my morals.. against societal values.. against my religion.. against myself.. and great.. think it just fucked us up.. fuck.. i cant believe i did what i did.. its so wrong.. i wasnt thinking straight.. i could help myself.. arrgh.. its so cheap! nd well.. really screwed our relationship up.. not ready MY ASS..
3. Nothing's alright, nothing is fine i'm running and i'm crying.. running from what? hte devils of myself? from the truth? reality? i dont know! i just wanna get away.. from her, him, him, and IT.. the devil reincarnated.. everything reminds me of it.. tiff's quotes.. thats why i felt liek crying.. just cant stand the amounting pressure..
4. im being sucked into negative music again.. its not your fault mousey.. i found marilyn manson nice long ago.. just sweet dreams and tainted love.. now what.. everything else.. i dont want to be influenceed liek this.. but just drowning myself in his music gives me this sense of peace.. peace? peace my ass.. its the total oppsite.. what its doing is brainwashing me.. getting me back into that hell hole i once was in.. darkness.. hate.. anger.. sadness.. depression.. now its becoming this weird obsesion with him.. whatever..
5. im just gonna snap any moment.. fuck you, fuck the world. fuck you jon.. fuck you so hard that your guts come spilling out your mouth.. i hope you finally fucking get an orgasm that way.. fuck you for screwing with my head for 3 years.. fuck you i cant stop loathing you.. you lowly fucker..