the greatest thing is to love and be loved in return

In open fields of wild flowers,
she breathes the air and flies away
She thanks her Jesus for the daises and the roses
in no simple language
Someday shell understand the meaning of it all
Hes more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on her lips
Someday shell trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday Hell call her and she will come running
and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and shell pray,
"I want to fall in love with You"
Sitting silent wearing Sunday best
The sermon echoes through the walls
A great salvation through it calls to the people
who stare into nowhere, and cant feel the chains on their souls
Hes more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on our lips
Someday well trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday Hell call us and we will come running
and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and well pray,
"I want to fall in love with You"
It seems too easy to call you "Saviour",
Not close enough to call you "God"
So as I sit and think of words I can mention
to show my devotion
"I want to fall in love with You"

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yay... boy came on today.. i took nat's and sean's advice, and just came clean with him.. ok, i tried to i guess.. i mean, you know, start off with stuff that doesnt concern him.. stuff that i've never told anyone.. you know, my deepest and darkest secrets.. it was OBVIOUSLY very hard to tell him those stuff, they're really embarrassing.. ohgosh.. now it feels really weird, as though i've opened my soul and bared it to him..really weird..and it kinda scare's me because i tell him about EVERYTHING, and sometimes i forget what i say.. so sometimes, i'll be like, shit, what does he knows about me? what did i say.. arh i dunno..

i mean, i promised myself that i wouldn't go back to him,not like i ever was with him or anything.. but yeah, you get my point, dont you? and ok, fine, i know i have to stop liking him, sever all ties with that jon-the-guy-i-like person... but, of course, i would never want to break off the friendship relationship.. i mean, one "loss" is already bad enough for me.. and he's really nice as a close friend.. and when i was talking to him today, it was like.. heart thumping, hands clammy, i was SO close to hyperventilating.. i cant get over him... YES.. you heard it right... i have to.. i know i have to.. but i just cant.. anyone? help please..

oh, and my mom just now was like "so has your friend called?" i told her that he was calling on monday as in last week, and since then, he hasnt.. so i dunno.. i find it embarrassing when i lied to her and told her that i told him not to call me... its so face-losing if i tell her "oh mom, he hasnt called..but no worries, he's always like that" i dont want her to have a bad impression of him.. i mean, a few months ago, she told me not to put all my time and trust in him.. WHOA huh.. i just dont like my parents having a bad impression of my friends, especially, my close ones...

like when sean pierced his ear, i took the rap for it, saying that i was the one who influenced and encouraged him to do it... she was like "i'm so proud of you for being such a bad influence on sean" bah..

and my dad.. i cant understand why BOTH my parents, when they know jon's name darn well have to call him "your friend".. my dad was like, is your friend watching rugby? is your friend coming back to singapore? has your friend replied your letters? stuff like that... and im like, -rolls eyes- they KNOW his name, but i cant understand why they cant USE it.. grr...

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dont tell him i did that... he'll flip...