so, i guess that the o levels are finally, and actually over.. i'm HAPPY!! but to tell you the truth, it feels kinda weird.. this strange sense of enlightenment.. i've been tied down to studies too long i guess right? and now when the doors to the cage are flung open, you just feel lost and too insecure to step out of i, spread your wings and soar to the heavens.. ok, so i AM scared of the next step.. i mean, where should i go from here? how about all my friends in class? its just mighty weird next year doing something, i.e. junior college or poly, without your classmates.. they've been with me for so long, and suddenly, POW! you're alone, lost in the strange new world which is swirling rapidly around you in a blurr.. i'm pretty freaked the idea of going to to the next chapter in life without my security blankets i.e. my school friends.. its not like we're severing all ties, but not having them around in class, or not seeing them everyday, its just scary! i'm making no sense i know.. but everything in my head is a whirl right now..

ARGH! great, now the thought of being alone in the world just makes me freak out.. yeah yeah, i know i can make friends and everything.. BUT!! i HATE going up to people and saying something that's on the line of "hi my name is stephanie and could you please please be my friend cuz currently i have no one" RIIIGGHHT.. im not that desperate.. i'd rather rot alone sitting in a measly corner,sulking cuz im a loner or something.. and secondly, paranoid as this sounds but im freaked that everyone and everything will take an instant dislike to me.. like, what if im the outcast or loser in the class?!? i guess my life is pretty tragic eh? pfft! how nice can a life be when you're constantly over-reacting, over-imagining and paranoid over simple, unimportant and defianately stupid stuff like this.

arh well.. today was an eventful day for me i guess.. the finishing of the o levels and obviously, the aftermath of it.. now that was real fun.. so as they were collecting the examination scripts, i was practically buzzing and jumping in my seat.. yes, i was that excited.. i had butterflies in my stomach while i was doing the paper!?! was damn hyped. arh well, i was basically looking forward to a great tanning, i mean roasting, session with sean and yuankun later on (more on that later). arh well, then that joshua sing decided to talk to us about being pilots... oooooooh wow (note the sarcasm) felt kinda sorry for the bugger, i mean HE WAS trying to be nice, but no one gave a shit about him.. who would? THEN, the vice-principal went on stage talking about god-knows-what.. again, i wasnt listening.. till she mentioned about jc admission (not that im planning to go there) and the likes.. they issued us out testimonials, leaving certificates, and fellow ladeedaa..

-speechless- miss yeo told us the spaghetti straps AREN'T allowed for grad night?!? hell, where are we iran, iraq or saudi arabia or something? if they tell me plunging neckline, ok fine.. if they forbid barebacks, ok cool.. i can understand that! but spagh straps?!? they're being far far too damn ridiculous! MAN! i mean, so whats with the spagh straps man.. its not like, "ooh wow! i see your shoulder! SEXY!" or something right.. and another reason WHY im so pissed with the "no spagh straps rule" is because i've bought my dress already.. and, yup, you've guessed it, its a spagh strap.. oh, you wanna know ANOTHER whammy? it cost a bomb, hundred bucks.. heh well.. i PROMISED my mom i'd wear it to the grad night, so i cant let her down.. oh, and i asked miss yeo whether wearing a shawl over the dress would be cool, and she said NO! cripes, RIDICULOUS i tell you... arh well, i'll be wearing a shawl on that day, whether they like it or not. HMPH!

so when sean, yk and i stepped out of the hall.. the sky was overcast! yay! do we just headed to alex's place.. yk wanted to play warcraft there see... rain stopped.. and we played basketball! not exactly me and sean's cup of tea... but, alex and yk can be very persuasive.. haha.. i grouped with yk, sean with alex.. surprisingly, the two lousy bball players, me and sean scored the most! ok la, thanks yk for passing me the ball repeatedly so as to give me a chance to score... but hey! i scored more goals than anyone else! haha..

we got into the pool straight after that though... nothing like contaminating a nice cool pool with our sweaty bodies... hah! it was really fun.. those two asses cant swim for NUTS! haha! i reckon true blue swimmers as those who can swim without goggles.. anyway, we were spending plently of time splashing alex with water and trying to get him into the pool clothed... my job was to yank his phone out of his hand and sean and yk's job was to pull off his shoes, then we could ALL pull him into the pool with us.. unfortunately, his grip on his phone was really strong, although the guys had fulfilled their job.. poor sean, his nipples got scraped off in the process of being dragged on the floor... HAHA!

oh and an after thought, curly hair stays curly wet.. haha.. and sean kept feeling pressurised speaking to me! -grr- i cant stand it when he does that because it makes me feel so SO bad, as though im flaunting an accent, which i might add i lack.. yes sean honey.. i dont have an accent, so please stop proclaiming that i do.. arh well.. it started drizzling again so we went back to alex's place and chilled (read froze) in his room... had a scumptious lunch! thanks alex's mom! and we went to sleep on alex's miniscule single bed..

found out the disturbing fact that alex has a fascination with carressing feet, yonkers with sodomizing people with hairdryers turned on on maximum heat, and finally sean with ermm being the victim in yonkers sado masochism! oh and, sean was desperately trying to tie my hair, neatly.. good try seanie! better luck next time! haha

for the second time, i've realized that its pretty comfortable lying on people,and getting lied on, especially when you're freezing to death with only one blanket to pass around.. and im proud to say that as a typical female, i hoarded all the blanket.. haha! i was COLD! i couldnt help it.. pity my future husband though! hahahah! sean had nice warm thighs, and yk? god! he's endothermic! he absorbed all my heat.. arsehole.. haha..

arh, all in all, it was a nice bonding day today.. i mean, hell, i dont know when we're going to just chill like that again.. sure going to miss the good ole times with them.. i kinda wish they went for a sex change,so that my parents would allow us to have sleep overs.. sigh...

so, here i am, looking back on today.. im definately not going to forget this day ever... im hot.. im itchy.. my hair is irritating my face... my pad is SO scratchy! UGH.. and my keyboard is driving my up the wall...